Judy Alexander: A Profile in Jewish Life
Name and Current Locale: Judy Alexander, South Burlington
What you are doing now: I recently retired from Temple Sinai after 23 years as the Director of Congregational Education. Since retiring I’ve spent my time visiting family and friends and having family and friends visit me.
What do you do beyond your work? This past year, with the pandemic, had been a year unlike any other. Besides having to move all of the educational programs online, my mom died in April 2020. Now that things are opening up, and with my recent retirement, I am figuring out how to position the next phase of my life. I’ve always written -- I began my first career as an advertising copywriter, and I’ve written plays -- so I definitely see writing in my future. Additionally, my husband (Bruce Chalmer) and I started a podcast: “Couples Therapy in Seven Words,” based on his book, “Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy and How to Get it Back.” We’ve been having a blast with either just the two of us talking about weekly topics, or having some fascinating guests on our program. Other than that, I’m part of UVM Hospital’s Gardening for Health course this summer. I read a lot and play Mah Jongg, and I’m still going to weekly services at Temple Sinai, and doing Torah Study every Shabbat. I also participate in their Wednesday Jewish History class and I’m still tutoring students for B’nai Mitzvah.
What was your upbringing like? I grew up in Long Beach, NY, which was a wonderful community less than an hour from Manhattan. We had great beaches, and were a train ride away from all the best theater, museums, and cultural offerings. I attended HALB, the Hebrew Academy of Long Beach, which is an Orthodox Yeshiva, from grades 1-8. My family was not Orthodox, we were Conservative (although my dad grew up Orthodox in Brooklyn and my mom was a Reconstructionist from the Bronx). Saturdays would usually find me at one of the synagogues in town (or bowling or hanging out on the boardwalk) depending on whose friend’s house I stayed at overnight, and we’d often walk to the different shuls and visit with other friends. I did not particularly enjoy Orthodoxy, although I loved being Jewish. I’d say the Long Beach community was about 30-40% Jewish growing up. I went to public high school but continued studying Hebrew and Judaic studies through my high school, Prozdor, and Jewish camps, particularly Tel Yehudah, a Young Judaea camp. I was very involved in YJ throughout high school and was on the Nassau/Suffolk regional Board, as well as part of the Hashachar Dancers. I continued Jewish Studies in college, at SUNY Albany, although that was not my major. I majored in Theatre and Communications. Upon completing college I worked in advertising. It wasn’t until I had children that I started working in Jewish education.
How would you describe your connection to Jewish life now? Being Jewish has always been a huge part of my identity, from as early as I can remember. It was a great source of pride in my family that my dad, Sam Alexander, was in the Haganah and fought for Israel in the 1948 War of Independence. My family, and I, are ardent Zionists. Obviously my work, identity, life and community involvement were tied together since I chose a work-life in Jewish education. In my years at Temple Sinai I worked to create bridges with the other Jewish communities in the area. I have many close ties to OZ and participate when I can in their daily minyans. They were a wonderful support for me in the year of saying Kaddish following my mom’s death.
How has your Jewish identity evolved over time? That’s a tough one. I’m very involved in a Reform synagogue, although I philosophically and personally relate more to Conservative Judaism, although I’d say the lines of Liberal Judaism are a lot more blurry these days. One of the things I value most about Judaism is its refusal to stay with the status quo -- we’re always trying to make things better -- and I think that might be one of the root causes of antisemitism. People don’t like having their world turned upside down.
One interesting Jewish experience in your life: Many years ago when I was a college student, I spent my senior year in London. I happened to travel with my roommates to Dublin on St. Patrick’s Day and found ourselves marching in the parade. That night we went to a pub and were sitting around drinking with a bunch of Irish kids our age, having a fun time. Then one of the guys in the group made a disparaging remark about Jews. I asked him what made him say that. He said, “Well you know, that’s what Jews are like.” I asked him if he had ever met any Jews. He admitted he hadn’t. I said to him, “Well, now you have, I’m Jewish.” To which he replied, “Well, you’re not like that.” That always stuck with me. How could people hold such views if they’ve never had any contact with any group? And furthermore, how can you generalize about an entire race of people from just one personal encounter? People are people, good and bad, no matter what race or religion.
What do you think is special about Jewish life in Vermont? Because Vermont is such a small state, in size and population, it has a very neighborly feel. And because so many of us have come from other places, we don’t have a lot of family here so we create families in our Jewish communities. I think people are more willing to take chances and try new things here because you don’t get lost in the large numbers. Every person really makes a difference. I really enjoy that there is interaction between the different synagogues and organizations. I have attended services and been a guest at many different synagogues and homes of Jewish folks all around the state.
What you value most about your Jewish experiences: I feel very fortunate to follow a religion that values family, community, social justice, education, peace, acts of righteousness, and so much more. While it’s possible to get lost in the minutiae of the laws, they also exist for a reason. It’s a religion that allows and encourages me to question and not just follow a strict dogma. For thousands of years we’ve existed when so many have tried to wipe us off the face of the Earth. Why are so many threatened by so few? I don’t have the answer, but if more people followed Jewish laws and practices we’d be a much richer and hopefully more peaceful world.
